Rozen Tales: Interview with a Krampus
by AspiringArmstrong
Summary: Zell Rozen has captured the elusive Krampus and sits down with him to learn his history. To his surprise, the tale weaved by his guest was nothing he ever expected.


_A/N: For those following me, know that I am slowly getting back to finishing my unfinished stories. I thought I'd give you something I wrote a while back since it's the holidays. If you like the characters, You can check out my book "Rozen Chronicles: The Onyx Ring" on Amazon, Barns and Noble, or wherever you get your books!_

* * *

A giant menacing figure stood in the middle of the intricately designed binding circle. Bright blue light flashed each time he poked the edge of the barrier, testing it. Large horns protruded from his forehead and yellow goat eyes peered at his captor with a fiendish and hungry look. Fanged teeth dripped saliva as he paced back and forth muttering curses. Coarse black hair covered every inch of his body down to cloven feet. This figure was the stuff of nightmares, and Zell had captured him.

"Are you comfortable? Can I get you a hot beverage?" The pacing stopped, The figure looked at Zell and pondered the question for a moment.

"Some cider might be nice." he said with a grin. He bore a smile that sent a chill down Zell's back. Zell went to the microwave and warmed a cup of instant apple cider for his guest. He placed the cup on a protruding circle and moved the barrier back around the cup, allowing the creature to pick it up. He sipped it for a few minutes and proceeded to eat the cup. He gave a loud and appreciated burp.

"That was good."

"Your welcome, I hope the containment circle is big enough, I didn't anticipate you being so… large. Do you need a chair? I can go get you one so you can sit while we do this." The figure tilted his head to the side as if trying to understand what Zell was saying.

"I can stand just fine. Let's get this over with. I got places to go, things to see, children to eat. Fa la la la la and all that. Tis the season!" The creature began to pace inside the containment circle again. He absentmindedly raked his fingernails across the barrier as he walked.

"I see. I just want you to look to my right, this is a video recorder. I want to make sure I get all of this documented." Zell made sure the camera was rolling during the whole encounter.

"Document away doc, not like I have a choice in the matter."

"Good. Just so we're clear. Can you tell me your name? Oh don't roll your eyes. I know who you are, as do you. But, the people who watch this may not." Zell smiled to himself.

"Fine, I'm Krampus Claus. Brother to the oh great and wonderful Santa Claus. May his jelly filled belly burst, so that I may spread his entrails on my toast!" He grinned and licked his lips with a forked tongue.

"That's quite a vivid image you paint Krampus. For the record, I'm Xellous Rozen. People call me Zell for short. I am your interviewer. Today's date is December tenth, two thousand thirteen." Zell nodded to himself.

"So Krampus, I take it there's animosity towards your brother?"

"Wow, you just pick that up now?"

"So?"

"So what?"

"So, lets start there. Why do you hate him so much?" Krampus stopped his pacing and glared directly at Zell. The look was quite unnerving to him.

"Oh what's not to hate? First, he spies on your children, then he sneaks into your house, and he eats your food! Just so you don't get mad at him he goes and leaves gifts. The whole thing is a scam!" Zell laughed at the joke, Krampus laughed as well.

"Come on, We know how the story works, you're just making it seem creepy. What really bugs you about this?"

"Ok, here's an example. Remember how he keeps lists? You got your nice list, and naughty list. Well, up until a century ago, I would get the kids on the naughty list. That was MY list! Some of the little snots were minor terrors, and i'd leave dead animals or coal in their stocking. Ya know really scare them! The others… well… we have a pot."

"So, you'd eat them?" Zell asked. Krampus chuckled at the question.

"Oh yea! We had a huge party! Invite the elves that helped us make the toys. Big pot with about fifty to a hundred wicked children. I tell you! Those parents were relieved to have those little snots taken away! Even Nick would show up for the party, altho we never told the goody goody what's in the pot." Krampus burst into hysterical laughter.

"Krampus, I want to come back to that but first, I got to ask. How did you get this job?"

"Job? What job? We're doing what we do. We're a force of nature, that's what we are."

"You and Nick are organized, you have a workshop and elves and make the toys and such. What got you started, why did you choose this role? Was there a meeting and you both were like 'hey, we'll give these kids free toys, but if they are bad we'll eat them up' sorta thing?"

"Well, really it sorta happened. I bet that, with my horribly disfigured appearance, you didn't know I used to be human. The two of us are twins."

"Really? Twins? I... did not expect that."

"So, here's what happened, and if anyone tells you different, I'll talk to them personally to set them straight."

* * *

10AD - Byzantine Empire

"Nick! lets go! The fishermen are docking! If we don't hurry, we'll miss out!"

"Ok Chris! I'm almost done!" Nick sat down a wooden carving he was working on. It was the shape of a horse. about as big as his hand.

Nick and Chris ran through the crowds and pushed their way to the port where the ships were docking. The two brothers were about ten years old and orphaned for as long as either can remember. No one really wanted to take them in, so they had to learn to take care of each other.

"Ok, so remember the plan?" Chris asked

"Yea, I got it."

The two brothers moved among the crowd, deftly lifting coins from open purses as hordes of people buy up the fresh catches. Occasionally, Nick would trip and fall, scraping his knee and cry out loudly, pointing to the richest person he could find, and blame him for shoving him. To keep the child from making a scene, the offender usually offered a few coins to shut the child up.

One of the more wealthy people disembarked from a ship that looked like a roman vessel. He wore bright red robes and carried an ornate staff with a cross. Nick and Chris nodded to each other and ran up to the wealthy individual.

"Carry your bags, sir?" Nick offered, he walked backwards to follow the pace of the robed man. Chris stood behind the man slightly, looking for his purse. Under one of the folds, he saw it. The roman official had no guards following him, so the time was ripe. He signaled Nick.

On que, Nick 'tripped' on a rock and stumbled backwards. With the brisk pace they were walking, it caused the robed figure to trip over Nick. Thus causing Chris to trip over the figure. This gave Chris a chance to snag the coinpurse from the man and toss the large heavy bag under a nearby bush. It happened so fast, no one was the wiser.

"Are you hurt child?" said the robed figure. Nick was crying and holding his ankle. The old man picked him up and turned to Chris. "Where do you and your brother live? We need to tend to his wound."

"We don't have a place, We just sleep wherever."

"Well, let me take you to the inn, I'll take care of you." The robed man headed off to the inn. Chris ran and grabbed the coin purse, stuffed it under his shirt and chased after them.

In the room, The robed man inspected the twisted ankle and cleaned up the scraped knee. Nick winced in pain, Chris realized he was really hurt, and not faking.

"If his ankle is broken old man, I'll have you flogged!" shouted Chris. He rushed to his brother and looked at the swollen foot. Nick tried his best to hold back his tears.

"I doubt you'll flog anyone." The old man reached into Chris's shirt and pulled out his coin purse. "Thank you for retrieving this. I'd have been in a bind if I lost this." Chris was visibly upset, but the old man turned back to tending the boy. He twisted and pushed on the foot, causing Nick to scream, and nodded to himself.

"It's not broken, given time it will heal." The old man opened the recovered pouch and produced a stack of large gold coins. He handed them to Chris, who's eyes were wide with surprise.

"You and your brother are going to keep me safe. I need bodyguards and guides apparently, as even the urchins here are going to prey on an old and feeble man. I'll be here for a few weeks on business, then i'll be on my way." Nick was quiet, his gaze fixed on the stack of coins Chris held.

For the next few weeks, Nick was given a new knife and plenty of wood to carve while Chris lead his escort around town. Chris would tell Nick how this roman official would go to the homeless and hand out food, pay off debts to those who were going to prison, and preach about kindness and love to their fellow man.

After his foot was better, Nick was attached to him like a shadow. The old man took the two of them to an institute and had them tested. He found that Chris had a natural talent for the written word and got him a job as a scribe apprentice.

The rest of the month, Chris barely saw Nick. He was too busy learning how to read and write in various languages. The old man paid his scholarship and secured him a job after his schooling was done.

"So today, there was these women who were going to have to be whores. They had no dowery at all! And so we went and gave their fathers a thousand solidus for their dowry! A thousand! With that, they can be wed to a wealthy family and help out their houses!"

"They shouldn't have been born women in a poor house if they didn't want to be whores, Why should you and your friend bail them out" said Chris, as he poured over the pile of scrolls he brought home.

"It's not their fault," said Nick.

"No, you're right it's their parent's fault. They should have drowned them if they didn't want the reputation stained by having whore children." Nick kept quiet, Chris knew the discussion was over. Nick went back to carving his toys and Chris back to his scrolls.

For the next two months Nick followed the red robed priest, while Chris took to his studies. One day Chris came home to the room they had at the inn where they stayed with the old man, to find Nick's tear stained face looking out the window to the harbor.

"What's the matter?"

"He's gone. He got a letter from Rome and had to leave." said Nick as he choked back a sob. Chris's throat catched as he realized the old man was gone.

"What? Why didn't he come and get me? He just left us? He didn't even say goodbye!"

"No, he wanted me to come with him, but I told him I can't leave you." Chris's stomach dropped. He was going to take his brother away and not even say goodbye. A cool rage filled him.

"That… bastard. First he pawns me off to that damn school and then keeps you to himself! I haven't spent more than five minutes with you since he got here! Now, after all that, he up and leaves and doesn't even say goodbye to me?" Chris had a sudden realization

"He was going to steal you away from me!" Chris's rage overcame him. He threw all the pots in the room, shattering them against the walls. He pushed over the tabe and scattered the scrolls he was working on. Nick rushed over and gave Chris a hug and held him until they both collapsed into a sobbing mass on the floor.

"He left us a stipend. Enough for you to finish school, and for me to apprentice as a carpenter." Chris shook his head.

"No, I'm done there. I know all I need to know. I already can read about six languages, and I can pick up more if I have too." Nick looked surprised. "I didn't want to tell them, but any of the languages they taught me, I remembered perfectly. It's like it stays with me. It only takes me about a week to figure it out."

"So, what should we do?"

"Lets leave here. I hate it here. We can go anywhere. I can work as a translator or scribe, and we can do whatever." Nick nodded in agreement.

"I want to help people, Chris. I want to honor what that man has done for us, even though he hurt us in the end." Nick looked solemnly down at his feet when he spoke this, waiting for Chris to shout at him.

"Is that what you want to do? Honor the man who would have stolen you away from your own brother?"

"I think he thought he was helping, He said I had potential to inspire others. He always said you had a lot of anger and spite. He hoped that becoming a studious person would help in that, but by opening up your mind to the knowledge of the world seemed to make you more cynical."

"That's not an understatement. The world can burn for all I care. The only thing I want is you to be happy and safe." Chris said. Nick nodded "Ok then, lets go. We'll figure out what to do. I just want to get out of this city.

* * *

"So who was the old man?" Asked Zell

"You're kidding, right? Priest wearing red, full of charity, tenth century?"

"I thought Nick was the Saint." replied Zell, Krampus fell on the floor laughing.

"Oh no! no no no, he was the least saintly person you could meet. Nick was two faced. He's kind and sweet, but will rob you blind and rape your mother. You'll even get a thank you card!" Krampus started to calm down and continued.

"The one thing he did care about was children. He always had a soft spot for kids. Not me! I hate the snot nosed brats and think they all should be locked away until we can put them to work in the mines." The hairy figure chuckled.

"Sounds like you'd love to be a foreman to a sneaker factory." Zell quipped, Krampus erupted another round of laughter.

"So, where'd you guys go?" Zell continued. Krampus composed himself and continued with his story.

"I don't remember, city to city pretty much. We never stayed in the same place. We'd scam, forge documents, and blackmail officials. Nick took to being a burglar. With his mechanical aptitude, he could pick locks and break into most places."

"So, he was good at going down chimneys?" Zell asked. Krampus gave him another toothy grin.

"You got it!"

"So, why did you need all that money? The saint gave you a stipend, it should have lasted a while."

"That saint was all about gifts, and the one he gave Nick was the gift of charity. So Nick, gave away all our money on a regular basis to some orphanage or help some homeless kid get a family. It was quite annoying." Krampus continued.

"In our twenties, we developed a con that allowed us to give gifts to kids. That's when we started using the ol' saint's birthday for our gifting activities. It also helped us case houses for future robberies."

"Ok, so you and Nick build a criminal organization to get funds enough to buy little kids presents. Sounds reasonable."

"It was for a time, we ran the same scams all over. Moving east, into the Germanic areas. Those guys were not Christians, but we found that their legends talk about an old god named Oden who goes into a deep sleep around the same time. We took parts of that legend and incorporated it into our act. That's where we met the elves."

"You met the elves in Germany?"

"We didn't meet them, we captured them."

"How?"

"Scribes have access to some really interesting tomes. Most of the documents that was translated were from sorcerers. Nick suggested we copy spells and curses for future use. We had our professions, working on toys and… other things."

"Other things?" Zell asked.

"Yea… things… So, we caught our first elf when we were in some village named Nijmegen"

"That's in the Netherlands."

"I don't know, It was some Roman outpost at the time. We were doing our thing for the Nijmegen children, when I started hearing stories about snow monsters in the hills. Most people thought these guys kidnapped children and small animals."

* * *

25 AD - Nijmegen Netherlands

The fire crackled in the hearth, as a burned log collapsed. The tavern Nick and Chris were staying was well furnished, long tables filled the front room while busty maids waited on them. The room was full of patrons laughing and bragging about the events of the day. The brothers were divvying up tonight's earnings when a woman burst through the door, crying hysterically.

"It took my little boy! That beast took my little child right from his room!" The woman's face was red and tear stained. She screamed and clutched her chest. A large burly man grabbed her shoulders with both hands to steady her.

"What happened? What did it look like!"

"It was an elf!, Long and tall. I saw his hand as he grabbed my child and pulled him through the window." The burly man shouted to the patrons and gathered a group of men from the tavern. They rushed out the door to hunt the creature down. The woman collapsed on the floor sobbing quietly to herself.

"An elf?" Nick said, looking questioningly to Chris.

"Yea, they say there are creatures around here that are made of mist and are tricksters. They can be good or bad, it seems there's a bad one around here." Chris explained.

"Hrm…you said they help people?" Nick asked, Chris shrugged.

"If it fancies them. They seem to be impartial. At least the stories I've read since we've gotten here." Chris went back to his money counting and making marks on a scroll he's been using to keep track of their finances. Nick looked around and motioned Chris closer.

"Can they make stuff?" Nick asked in a harsh whisper.

"Well, sure. It's said elven made items are renowned for their craftsmanship, beauty and enchantment." Nick's eyes had a mischievous glint in them. A wide grin crept across his face. "What are you plotting nick?"

"Lets go back to our room to talk. I want you to look at your special books for me."

"I don't like where this is going…" The two of them left the tavern and headed upstairs to their rented room. Nick lit a lantern and shoved a shelf in front of the door, blocking it from being opened. He then closed the windows and curtains to make sure they were completely secure.

"What are you doing?"

Nick shushed him and motioned him closer.

"I want one, I don't know. Maybe more! A whole house of elves who can make the toys."

Chris was shocked at the idea. before he could say a word, Nick tossed him one of their tomes.

"Check your books, see if there's any magic you can do to entrance them or enslave them to my control!" Nick had a wild look in his eye.

"I.. yes, I know a few ways we can do that. But, it may not go the way we expect." Chris moved to a tightly bound trunk and opened it. He pulled out some more books and flipped through the pages. He studies some scripts and diagrams, nodded to himself, and closed the book. "Ok, I found a binding circle that will trap them, and we can use something to put on them to make them bound to our command." Looking around, he saw a string of sleigh bells. Nick saw them too, grabbed them and handed them to Chris.

Chris took one of the bells off. He scratched a symbol onto the back of the bell and strung a leather cord through it to make a necklace.

"As good a pendant as any, and we'll hear him sneaking up on us if it wears off!"

Nick and Chris split up to gather supplies, they agreed to meet outside of town in an hour and with that the two of them headed off into the woods to go elf hunting. After about an hour, of travel, it was Nick who broke the silence.

"Chris, why is your pack making noise… and moving?" Chris chucked at the question.

"It's a surprise! I talked to some of the other people and they told me what direction the elf usually goes in when they capture someone. I think there's a cave near here." The two of them walked in silence, except for a few strange sounds erupting from Chris's pack. They moved into a clearing and Chris stopped. He looked around and nodded to himself.

"This is good enough."

"What, here?" asked Nick

"Well, yea. We're not going to it's cave, that's crazy! We're going to lure it into the open and trap it here." Chris smiled and handed Nick a stick. "Start clearing out the area and flatten it as best you can. I'll work on the fire. We need to get a sent in the air." The two of them worked on creating the binding circle. Chris worked on the enchantments for the bell.

Chris grabbed his pack and moved into the middle of the binding circle.

"So what's in there?" Asked Nick.

"Just a little something I borrowed from the fletcher's wife." Nick was shocked as Chris pulled out a small swaddled baby. He made a coochy sound and rocked it back and forth. The baby giggled and cooed at him. He turned to the fire and laid out an animal skin blanket on the ground and rested the baby on it.

"Are you CRAZY!" screamed Nick. The baby was startled and begun to cry. Chris shooshed the child until she began to coo again. Chris tied a long twine around the baby's waist and tugged on it to test it.

"What do you think I am? A monster? We're going to lure him here and I'll pull her out of the circle where she'll be safe."

"And did you even ASK if we can use the fletcher's daughter for bait?"

Chris grinned and shrugged. Nick threw his arms up in exasperation and moved to the hiding spot they established. The baby cooed to itself next to the fire as the brothers waited into the night. The fire slowly burned down. Nick checked on the baby to make sure she was warm and comfortable. Suddenly, a shriek was heard in the woods.

"It's coming." Nick said excitedly. The unholy noise was moving closer to them. The bushes rushed and rumbled as a large and hairy creature burst into the clearing. It's eyes were milky white, full of cataracts. It's nose was black and upturned. Hair dripped from it's body into shaggy manes. A mouth of razor sharp fangs chopped in the air. It was drawn to the scent of the fire. There, it spied the baby and let loose a chilling howl.

The beast roared and rushed into the clearing, heading to it's meal. Nick was ready to pull the baby, when Chris told him to wait. The creature moved closer and closer, the baby started to cry with the commotion. The monster reached for the baby when Chris stood up and shouted at the monster. The creature looked at Chris and took a step towards him. Nick yanked hard on the twine, pulling the baby from the fur blanket. The wrapped up child slid across the packed snow, heading to the brothers

The creature saw his prey fleeing and chased after it. The baby was almost clear of the circle, when it's blanket became caught on a small root that was protruding from the snow. Nick must have missed it. To his horror, the creature caught up with the child. Without thinking Nick left the safety of the brush they hid behind and charged the creature, wildly swinging the stick Chris gave him to draw the circle.

"Nick! Don't!" screamed Chris. It was stupid of his brother to do this. So what if the child gets eaten! Nick jumped over the line that was drawn and kicked the creature back. He grabbed the baby and jumped out of the way, just in time for Chris to activate the barrier. The wooly creature slammed into an invisible wall. Each strike erupted a blue light that flickered across the surface of the prison.

"Nick! Why would you do that?" Screamed Chris. Nick was getting up and brushing the snow off himself and the baby. Chris punched Nick in the stomach as hard as he could! How dare he risk his life like that! Nick doubled over in pain, still clutching the child.

"Get that bell on the damn thing!" Nick screamed between catching his breath. Chris sighed and walked to the barrier. The creature they captured was about ten feet tall! He didn't see much intelligence in it's eyes, but who really knew what an elf was. Nick stood next to Chris to stare at the creature, still out of breath.

"Well? Get on with it!" Nick said.

"Fine," said Chris. He threw the bell at the creature who grabbed it in mid air. A look of peace filled it's face, as he instantly became docile. Nick made a motion with his arms to indicate he should put the bell around his neck. The elf followed suit and put on the bell. Chris deconstructed the barrier, and without saying a word, gathered his supplies and headed back to town. He could care less if Nick and his new pet were following him.

* * *

"So, you caught your first elf?" asked Zell.

"Yep!"

"Hrm.." Zell made a note on his pad of paper.

"What? What's the problem doc?"

"That sounds more like a Wendigo than an elf. They are pure rage, usually a human who was transformed through corrupted magic or some other method. I've not seen one personally, but I'd love to meet one."

"Haha! You hit the nail on the head there! You're good ya know that? We never heard of them till a long time later. We THOUGHT we had an elf. You should have seen Nick trying to get this thing to make toy horses, swords and dollies for the kids of that town! It was hysterical!"

Krampus erupted in laughter. Zell made a few notes, smiling to himself.

"So, when did you really get elves?"

"It took a few years, but the plan was sound. We've enhanced the bells, found where they hung out, and lured a few of them in and snagged them. At first, it was a bit messy."

"Uh, messy?"

"Well, if they mouthed off or even thought of not listening to us. The spell would boil their blood…"

"Oh, a pain spell?"

"No… it was messy." Krampus grinned at the memory "Oh so… so messy. I had to refine the bells. Eventually, I decided violent retching was a good punishment. If one of those bastards held a butter knife and thought of stabbing one of us, BAM! On the floor dry heaving, or wet heaving… depends on what they had for lunch."

"Over the years, Nick was getting tired of his day job. he wanted to spend more and more time working for the children. So, we decided to settle down. We're still up north, but moved to some other scandinavian country. We both agree that to head south was not for us, and the thought of moving back to our home town was out of the question."

"So, What did you guys do when you finally set down roots?"

"We got a mountain cottage, a few miles from a northern town. We opened a shop in town. We started a loan shop and money changer that will copy and forge documents as well as loan money for collateral. The guys in vegas can learn a thing or two from Nick, you never want to be late on a payment. Remember he had a pet Windigo if you're late."

"Chris," Zell said.

"Krampus." Zell made a note on his page.

"If it's still the same, I'd like to call you Chris. Why don't we move forward a bit to where you changed into this. And why you're so resentful of your brother?" Krampus stopped pacing and gave Zell a look that sent a chill up his spine.

"Not pulling any punches are we? Why do you think anything like this happens to a man? That was what I was! A man, and so was he! I think we both know what unholy force in the universe can drive men so insane, that it corrupts our very nature."

"A woman?" asked Zell. Krampus clapped his hands in glee and danced a jig.

"YES! YES! A damn woman! A harlot! A whore! A lying bitch of a woman! She talked and teased and pranced around without a care in the world. She stole every heart that was given to her and in return, gave a coy smile and wink. That bitch was Lilith incarnate!"

* * *

45AD - Somewhere in Finland

"Chris!"

"Chris!"

Nick smacked Chris on the back of his head. Chris stopped gazing out the window to look dumbfounded at his brother. The document he was working on was still unfinished and he promised the blacksmith he would have the land deed altered to add another ten acres from the property of the local fletcher. The commission was quite a large one. He didn't know why the blacksmith wanted the land, but he's not to argue with payment up front.

"What were you looking at? I was talking to you about how we can change the looks of the elves? They are so depressing. Anytime I check on them, they have a sullen look on their face. It's like I'm making them work at a mine or something!"

"What would you have me do? Make them sing and dance?" Chris regretted saying it as soon as he did.

"Yes! Sing and dance. Make them smaller and more manageable! They are too tall!" Nick scrambled for a scrap of parchment and began to make a list of attributes he wanted his new workers to have, and even drew what they should look like.

Chris's attention was drawn back to what he originally entranced with; a young, beautiful, blond haired maiden who was sitting at the town's square. Men approached her every day, but she rebuked each one. He knew nothing about her, but he wanted too.

A piece of paper blocked his field of view as Nick waved it in front of him. Chris grabbed the list, shot a look of annoyance at his aging brother and read it.

"Short, about two to three feet tall, black hair, blue eyes, dressed in green, can sing and dance, always feel happy about what they are doing and never question their tasks, curled toed shoes?"

"Yes! With bells on them! I want lots of bells! That way, none of them will know what bell holds the enchantment!" Chris had to admit, the idea was brilliant, but didn't want his brother to have too much satisfaction. He folded the parchment and slipped it inside his tunic.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Oh! What about a magic carpet I can fly on? Or, a chariot? That way I can go to other towns!"

"I'll look into it!" screamed Chris. This charity thing was really getting on his nerves. It's all Nick talks about. He'll give a kid a doll, but break her father's knees if he's late on a loan.

The bell rang at the front of the door and he looked up to see the woman he was admiring. Nick and Chris both stood up to greet their new guest.

"Umm, hello! I hope I'm in the right shop." said the girl.

"What do you need?" said Nick.

"I have this necklace my father gave me. He would like to put a loan on it." said the guest. She looked uncomfortable being in the shop. Nick smiled that fake smile he used to put people at ease. She looked over at Chris who was working on a document. He dipped his head into the parchment and tried to ignore her.

"What's your father's name?" asked Nick

"Matthew. he's the local fletcher." Chris knocked over a bottle of ink on the document he was working on. It flew all over his clothes and hands as well. He let out a loud curse and crumpled up the ruined document.

"Um, are you ok?" she asked him.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine. I just ruined three hours of work is all!" Chris screamed. He stormed out of the shop, Nick shot him a stern look as he passed. He looked down at the ruined forgery as he headed home. He'll finish it tonight. What becomes of her father's land was no business of his.

He spent the rest of the day with one of the elves, testing the new enchantments on his "volunteer." He had to go through four of them before he got it right. He ordered the newly changed elf to clean up the remains of his brethren and to go back to work. The elf nodded his empty head at the order, grabbed a rag, and whistled a happy tune while he cleaned the blood off the floor.

Chris had changed the last elf as Nick came into the workshop. He was speechless when he saw the new workers.

"I think.. we can even breed new laborers if we need too. I might be able to convert other creatures as well into this form."

"You're brilliant Chris! You always know what to do!"

"Anything for my brother." Chris said glumly.

"What's the matter?" Nick asked.

"Nothing." Chris shouted.

"It's about Jessica? That girl, who took the loan?" Chris's silence told Nick everything. "Well, she is quite fetching. Her father actually owes us quite a lot."

Chris shook his head. "We don't need a woman here. We got what we want. If I want a companion, There's the whorehouse down the road."

"That's too bad." said Nick.

"Why?"

"Well, We're getting old. I would like to have an heir to my fortune. I want to hear the laughter of my children and watch them grow up."

"Watch them grow into the type of people you despise and rob from? I've watched you break the hand of someone who owes you money, and turn around and give his kids presents that would have paid off their loan!"

"Children are innocent. They should never want for anything. Should my children grow into the despicable people that come into my shop, then I wash my hands of them."

Chris shook his head. it was no use arguing with him.

"Do you want Jessica?" Chris stayed silent to the question. Of course he wanted her. He wanted to be near her, he wanted to love her, but she would never love the type of man he was.

"I'll ask again, Do you want Jessica?"

"She'll never have me!" Chris shouted.

"Who says anything about asking?" said Nick. His mischievous grin crept across his face again. "Her father has no dowry and He owes us a lot of money."

"He'll own even less." Chris said, holding up the forgery. "Blacksmith commissioned me to steal about ten acres of his land too."

"We can get her in exchange for that information and release of his debts." said Nick. His jovial expression infuriated Chris.

"What are we going to do with her? She's a Christian! What if she finds the elves? What if she finds out about your late night break ins? I may want her, but I don't want any children. I hate children!"

Nick gave Chris a cold look. Chris knew this was not going to end well.

"Fine, you don't get her! I try to reward you for all your hard work. I try to make you happy for all the good things you do me, and you throw it in my face. You act all aloof and withdrawn, but you're a man like me and you want someone in your life."

"No I don't! All I want is to be together with you. You're my brother, you're all the family we ever need. Together we can do anything!"

"Fine, but I need someone else in my life. I need someone next to me. I need children. If you don't need her, then you won't mind me taking her." Chris's stomach dropped like a stone.

"Don't…" was all he could whisper. Nick gathered up a small bundle and grabbed his red cloak.

"Please… don't do this" Nick ignored Chris's pleads.

Nick left, leaving Chris alone in the workshop. Happy elves whistled and sang, oblivious to anything else around them. Enraged Chris screamed and picked up a newly made toy and bludgeoned to death the closest elf he could grab. The elf smiled the whole time.

* * *

Zell was quiet for a moment. He set down his pen and paper and took a breath to center himself. Krampus was quiet as well. His toothy jovial smile was gone from his face. They both took a moment of silence.

"So, Nick bought the woman you loved?"

"I don't think you call it love back then. The idea of marriage between two people that was not arranged was out of the question."

"Go on," Zell asked.

"Well, Nick got his way, as usual. The forgery stole the land from her father and Nick collected on his loan. They were married in under a year. It was a quick engagement. The town loved it! Big wedding, lots of gifts to everyone. He built a home on our land next to our original cottage. Jessica made us both feel welcome in our homes and appreciated what we've done for her."

"That was nice of her." Zell remarked.

"For a while. Nick doesn't like adults remember? What do you think he did when fate played a lovely trick on him?"

"Oh no," said Zell. "She was barren?"

"Yes! Her insides were as desolate as the frigid north!" Krampus exclaimed.

"You sure it was her issue and not Nick?" Krampus sighed and had the most serious look Zell witnessed.

"Oh it was her. We tested it. Nick ordered her to.. " Krampus couldn't finish the sentence. "It was customary to send the bride to a brother should she not take child with her husband."

Zell couldn't believe his ears.

"The great Kringle secret! Nick and Chris both banged Mrs. Claus!" laughed Krampus. He started thrusting his hips at Zell. "We had our way with her so many times! Oh yea!"

"Chris," Zell said in a serious tone. Krampus stopped in mid thrust, his smile dropped from his face.

"Krampus… Fine, you're no fun."

"The years went by and Nick got more and more resentful of her and quite violent. She started to take refuge at the other cabin to hide from him. His beatings were quite impressive." Krampus continued.

"She took it like a trooper, she knew her duty as a wife and tended the house and her husband. Mediated between our arguments and never spoke a word against Nick. His resentment to her made her suffer more than his beatings."

"It must have killed you to watch all that." Zell added. Krampus ignored the comment and continued.

"We got old, as humans do. The icy touch of death began to creep up our backs and into our heads. Nick was resentful of his life, he had more wealth than he could spend but no children to leave it too. His workshop and magic sleigh i made for him produced wonders. He was only happy seeing other people's children and the smiles they made to him when he gave them things. It was his only validation."

"But, you had a plan." Zell inferred.

"There was a plan, but it was Jessica that pushed it through to the end."

* * *

65 AD - Somewhere in Finland

"I know"

Those two words made Chris run a line across a parchment he was working on. Taking a deep sigh, he crumpled it up and tossed it into the fire.

"You know nothing woman. Stop berating me and get out of my house!" said Chris. He felt her hand on his back and rub the old weary nots out. No matter what he says to her, she gives him a gentle smile and eases his soul.

"I know about the workshop, the elves, I.. followed him this year." Chris only had written two lines before his hand slipped and ruined the page. He grumbled and grabbed another page. He paused to see if she was going to start yammering again and started to write.

"Chris, will you stop writing for five minutes and look at me?" Chris threw the quill at her and screamed.

"What? What woman? What do you want me to say? Oh no! You learned our secret? Oh No! Your husband's the man everyone is talking about? Oh what will we do? Our world has crumbled!" Chris gave a mocking cry of despair. Spat on the ground and grabbed another quill. Jessica did not flinch at the outburst, but stared him down.

Chris felt she was beautiful, even in her advanced age. Nick and his wife had aged gracefully while Chris was a gnarled scarecrow of a man. Nick and Jessica had the love of the town and were the village elders. Everyone knew the couple as jolly, graceful, kind, and charitable.

Nick has done his best to quell the rage he felt and emulate his saintly idol. in recent years he has uncharacteristically forgiven loans that were owed and attend mass on a regular basis. Chris doubts the man was converted. He suspected he was trying to con God into forgiving his transgressions.

Jessica was standing her ground with her arms crossed. Chris began to sharpen his quill, waiting for her next remark.

"You need to help your brother."

"I've done everything he's asked of me. I made his elves, I made his flying sleigh, I made his boots that leave no footprints in the snow. I made his belt that allows him to enter any home unawares. I've given everything or everyone I cared for to him." He let that last one linger. Jessica reared up a hand and slapped him across the face.

"Alot of good you've done all these years. Sitting here with your scrolls and books. You know you could have taken me away from him anytime! He's never loved me. He offered me to you more than once and have turned away from the idea! You're nothing but a coward." Chris was silent, the sting on his face was nothing to the pain in his heart.

"What does he want from me now." was all he said in a smooth, uncaring tone.

"Immortality." Chris searched Jessica's eyes to see if she was joking. Her stare said otherwise.

"Impossible" he said, turning his back to her and started to write on his scroll.

"You've make the impossible! You can do anything! I saw what you've done and how powerful you've become. I don't want all the hard work you two have done over these years to die with him."

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked, he turned around to search Jessica's face.

"Where is he? If he has an unreasonable request, he doesn't send you." Jessica's lip started to quiver. She couldn't hold back anymore and burst into tears. She threw herself into Chris's chest and sobbed uncontrollably. Chris gave in and wrapped his arms around Jessica and comforted her.

"What happened? Tell me… please." he whispered into her ear

"He's sick. He has a fever and a cough. The doctor says he won't last the week." Jessica sobbed into his shoulder.

"No." said Chris. "No… no… no!" He pushed Jessica out of his arms and screamed in a rage. He pushed over his desk, grabbed his walking stick and slammed it against the cabinet holding his dishes. He smashed out the windows and tore up scroll after scroll screaming. Jessica covered her head and was on her knees, trying to keep from getting hit by Chris's rampaging cain.

After his living room was completely destroyed. He stormed out of the cabin into the cold snowy air. Jessica looked around at the carnage, dumbfounded, when the door burst open again. Chris threw two elves into the room and screamed at them to clean up the mess. Happily, they saluted and whistled a tune while they picked up the trash and cleaned.

"Get up." He barked at Jessica. She stood up, looking at the elves in shock. "Take me to him, NOW!" he screamed. She rushed out the door. As Chris followed, an elf got under foot and nearly tripped him. He slammed his food down on the creature. Jessica looked in horror as the elf's spine was crushed and a lifeless smile was on his face. The other elf looked up at Chris.

"Get rid of this one and get another to finish cleaning up!" he barked at the elf. The elf nodded and dragged the corpse of his friend out into the cold and headed back to the workshop.

"You just…"

"We got plenty of them, they are replaceable."

"I just can't believe you just…"

Jessica kept looking back at the house while she followed Chris through the falling snow. It took only a few minutes to reach the house.

Chris burst through the door and stormed to his brother's room. A few of the villagers who volunteered to tend the sick man looked shocked at the outburst. Chris ignored their protests as he threw open the door to Nick's bedroom. The force knocked over a goblet filled with water and doused one of the lit candles on a side table.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" screamed Chris. Nick was propped up, unphased by the outburst and sipped on a bowl of broth. "You think you can just get sick and die on me? Get up you lazy bastard!"

"Chris…" Just saying his name caused Nick to go into a massive coughing fit. Jessica arrived at the door entrance, just behind her brother in-law, visibly out of breath. Nick's coughing subsided and he finished his statement. ".. It's the lord's will. I have had my time on earth, I'm ready to go. I may have not lead a perfect life, we both know this. I would like you by my side in the next few days I have and see me off."

"So that's it? You're going to lay there and die. All of our plans? All of our work? All of that dies with you! Everything I've done is for you! Every lie, every plot, every murder! My hands are soaked in blood trying to keep you safe!" Nick's face was unmoving. Chris saw he's given up and is accepting fate. He spit on the floor and headed to the door. Before he left, he turned around and looked at his brother.

"You will live, no matter what the cost!" Jessica called after Chris as he stormed out of the house and slammed the door. Chris headed back to his house. He poured over his tomes and scrolls and threw them in frustration.

Looking around, he spied an elf picking up the mess and putting them back where the items go. He stormed towards his helper ready to lash out, but for a moment, there was a flicker of fear in his eyes before the blissful look filled his face. That flicker lent Chris's rage a pause. He grabbed the creature and sat him on the table to inspect him.

"What's your name?" Chris ordered. The little elf hopped around on the table like he was playing an invisible hopping game that he just invented.

"Tim" squeaked the elf

"What is your real name, or I'll rip your head off with my bare hands. I saw recognition in your eyes." The little elf stopped his hop and turned to look up at Chris. The jolly look fell from his face and was replaced with a dead serious look.

"Fine, it's Aelwyn."

"That's better. How are you remembering your previous life?"

"You think you can kidnap our kind without our notice?"

"You're resisting the bell, Aelwyn. Tell me how!"

"That's my secret, but it looks like you won't be needing to worry about it for much longer, what with your brother on his death bed and all. Silly humans, all we have to do is wait and you grow old and die."

Chris grabbed the elf and wrapped his fingers around his throat and squeezed. The tiny elf's face turned bright red, and almost purple. Aelwyn silently moved his lips like he was trying to say something. Chris let go to let the elf gasp for air.

"It seems your charm only kept your mind, but your body is still cursed." Chris said. He closed his eyes to think while the elf coughed and recovered.

"You and your brother are mad..." Aelwyn said.

"No, we're creative." Chris paused for a moment, an idea tickled his brain. "I want you to save him, use your elf magic or something. Heal him."

"Why would I do that? You held us captive! You erased my comrade's memories and turned them into slaves. You and your brother are horribly evil and deserve to die!"

Chris drummed his fingers on the table annoyingly and stared down the elf. After a moment Aelwyn's defiant look gave way to a more base emotion; fear.

"A… a trade then!" Aelwyn spoke after a moment. Chris stopped his fingers mid drum. He motioned the elf to continue. "Release my brethren... and we'll save him."

"No." said Chris. Aelwyn became furious.

"Release them!" shouted Aelwyn. Chis signed.

"Have you seen an elf without it's bells?" Aelwyn was silent. "When I made this spell. I thought of this scenario." Chris whistled. An elf walked into the room awaiting instruction. Chris grabbed the elf by the scruff of it's uniform and stood him next to Aelwyn. After looking for a time, he chose one of the many bells on the green uniform and held it in his hand.

"This bell is the original. If I take this bell off, it will release the spell." Aelwyn's eyes filled with hope. He reached to grab the bell and suddenly, Chris yanked it off. The happy elf's eyes cleared of ignorance and looked at Aelwyn for a moment in recognition and reached out to his friend.

"You came for…" in that moment, as Aelwyn reached out to touch his kindred's hands, his fingers went through them. Aelwyn's face had a look of horror as he saw his friend's hand in his palm and it crumbled into dust. The rest of the elf crumbled away and collapsed into a pile of ash on his desk.

"You see now, I'm not able to release them." Chris said. He brushed away the elf dust into a trash bin and looked back to Aelwyn.

"Monster…" was all the elf could choke out. Tears streamed down his face. "You are a monster." .

"You would do anything for them, won't you." Aelwyn said nothing.

"That feeling, is how I feel about my brother. I will bring in your elves one by one and turn them to dust if it will bring me a chance to save him." A look of horror filled Aelwyn's face. He knew Chris was serious.

"A… a truce. Let's draw a treaty between the Kringles and the Elves." said Aelwyn.

"Now, you are talking reasonably." Chris pulled out fresh parchment and worked out the terms of the treaty.

"What was the terms of the truce?" Zell asked.

"Well, I agreed not to add any new elf blood to the workers. Aelwyn worked out that the bells will work on anyone. Non-elves weren't as creative, but after twenty or thirty years of mentoring with the elvish elves, they improved their quality.

"There was more to the treaty wasn't there?"

"I was blinded at the time and wasn't thinking it through." Krampus huffed. "That damn elf did pull a fast one on me. He gave me everything I wanted. A way to heal Nick and to keep us both alive for eternity. There was only one way to do it."

"Oh?"

"You see, only the pure of heart can be immortal. Funny thing about purity, it's not specific as to exactly what kind of pure."

"Oh no." was all Zell could say

Chris and Jessica carried supplies through the snow covered woods that evening. The wendigo carried Nick on his back and lumbered behind them.

"What are you doing Chris? Just let me die."

"Shut up, you don't have a choice in this." said Chris. The trio broke into an open clearing. In the middle stood Aelwyn. Nick motioned to a spot on the barren snow, the windigo hefted Nick to the indicated area."

"Do it elf!"

Aelwyn motioned and from the woods twelve tall elves with long flowing hair and lean features approached. They formed a circle around them. Aelwyn took a stick and drew a line down the center of the ring to divide the two. The tiny elf spoke in a strong and commanding tone.

"These two have made a contract to shed their humanity and become a force of nature! " The outlining elves raised their hands. Beams of light shot from their hands and connected, forming a circle.

"To become everlasting, One's essence must be pure and balanced."

"Chris! What is he talking about?" shouted Nick. He was sitting up, but was too weak to stand.

"You spend your life giving to others, brother. I spent my life giving to you! This is my final, ultimate gift! The life you've dreamt of!" Howling wind erupted from all sides as the elves outlying the circle began chanting.

"Chris will take upon your anger, your rage and hatred. To balance the loss, He will give you his hopes, dreams, and love." Aelwyn said to Nick.

"NO!" Nick screamed. Chris nodded and the elves threw their hands up. six beams each struck one brother. Aelwyn in the middle emitted a beam that struck the two brothers in the chest. They both let out a scream. A black light slowly pulled from Nick and was drawn through Aelwyn and into Chris. After the red light fully was absorbed, A bright yellow light was pulled from Nick.

"Lady Kringle!" Screamed Aelwyn. Jessica ran to the circle's edge. "Lady Kringle! There's too much. There's not a balance! If I disconnect, they both will die!"

"What do I do?" Screamed Jessica

"Stand with one of them. The difference will balance the other.' Jessica sobbed and looked at her husband and his brother. She ran over to Chris and threw her arms around him.

"No!" screamed Chris.

"I don't care!" screamed Jessica.

A column of light erupted from the circle, engulfing everyone in the clearing. Chris and Jessica stood up and dusted the snow off their bodies. Chris looked down and saw his body has changed. He was shorter and rounder than before. A groan came from the other side of the clearing. Chris rushed to his brother and was taken aback in horror. A gnarled and misshapen figure lay before him. Jessica came next to him and screamed at what she saw. Aelwyn approached the trio with a devious grin.

"You are now immortal, a force of nature. Our contract is complete."

Chris's mind was numb. He wanted to scream at the elf, but the rage was not there. The only word that came from his lips were "Why?"

* * *

"Your… Nick?" Zell said in shock.

"I wondered how long it would take you to figure out." Krampus jeered. "Chris Kringle? Not once did I ever acknowledge Chris as my name. You just assumed."

"I don't understand." He was right, Zell has assumed.

"The elves really pulled one over on us. We're merged. I took all of Chris's bad vibes and he took all my good." Krampus continued.

"The elves explained that under all my good deeds and charity, I was too far gone down a dark path. When Jessica chose Chris, There was only one way to balance the three of us." Krampus hooted a laugh. "It was also punishment for how we both treated the elves! Chris never wanted any of this, he hates children. He wanted to die alone and let his bruddah give presents to all the kiddies forever and ever!"

"So, being you.. was Chris's punishment." Zell's head was swimming trying to wrap his head around the concept.

"Told you those elves were devious bastard! But, they honored the contract, saved my life, and even allow me to participate in the hollidays and torment me by watching my brother live the life I strove for. All the love for the children I had are his, and I'm filled with his resentment and hate."

"That's a terrible burden to live with." said Zell. "Your a force of nature, like they said. You've been stripped of your will and have to follow the choices that were made for you."

"So what now doc? What's your take on all this? You've learned the biggest secret of the holiday and trapped an evil creature who kidnaps and eats children? I bet you're horrified and sickened by all of this and are going to try and destroy me."

"No, you said it yourself. You are nature. The world needs Krampus, just like the need your brother. You can't have one without the other. I respect both of you. Like anyone on this earth, you and your brother lived full lives. You made choices and regrets that everyone has done sometime in their life."

"Krampus, I don't fear you. I don't pity you or regret your choices. That's what's great about life, is that it leads down so many paths. I respect and admire what you tried to do, even if it lead to this. I respect the Nick who wanted to help the children of the world, and the Krampus who lends a contrast to his brother's works." Zell made a final note. Krampus was quiet, he seems to have retreated within himself.

"I think we had a great session today. I would like to invite you back to talk again. My door is always open, just let me know before you pop in. My barriers don't take kindly to malevolence."

"I… would like that." Krampus said. Zell dropped the barrier and confidently offered his hand to the disfigured entity. Krampus grabbed hold of it and gave it a firm shake and disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving in Zell's hand a lump of coal.


End file.
